Mooji speaks with Cindy about her Direct Seeing

They share laughter and love, trying to speak the Unspeakable

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There were 300-400 people on the call, as I remember. It was a privilege to be the last caller and to be able to express my gratitude. Overwhelming gratitude motivated me to meet and thank him in person, but even that desire quickly subsided. The gratitude and joy remains. This video was made April 26, 2010, and the direct seeing happened three months before, and nine months after the discovery of joy within.

I had been seeking God, to see and know the Divine, or Source, directly, not as a thought, concept, or hope, but to have final knowing of Truth. Not only was the sense of someone “doing” not there (as Mooji says), the “I” who I thought I was, was gone, and so were both thought and speech, for some time. The love expressed to Mooji was not personal love; it is far greater than that.

It took four years for the realization to integrate and steady itself enough to try to share the unspeakable with others. Of course It still cannot be spoken, but It can be pointed to, and the false knowledge that appears to veil It can fall away.

I will be writing more about this and other understandings and experiences in my new book. Subscribe to this blog to hear more.

PS–Mooji was so right; there is just more of the same! haha

What do you see?


A pair of nesting ducks, and the first butterfly were two of the wildlife signs of spring I saw today. On my bike ride, suspended directly over the path on slender, delicate branches was a porcupine, happily munching on delicate new buds and branches. People stopped, craned their necks back and took photos (and as you can tell, I did too.)

Most comments went something like… “Yes, it really is spring.” That may have come from the long and unpredictable winter we just had. Parting ways, as I turned to mount the bike a woman said, “I hope you see something!” I laughed inside, “I can’t not see something… I always see something – everything!”

That is the strange thing about common experience, people have come to see everything as ordinary, as mundane. For most, it takes a dramatic change of seasons for them to notice anything, for them to appreciate and enjoy anything. It is common place on my excursions in the woods to meet people who try to see what I am seeing by looking in the same direction, peering, narrowing, and squinting, only to finally ask, “What do you see?”

If I told them, they’d not believe me. Continue reading

Creating a New You

fire-Streichholz-wikemedia-72-dpiThe new age movement is awash with ideas of creating a new you.

Words like growing, learning, expanding, creating, and co-creating are all the rage. But there’s something very shallow about creating something that can be re-created again and again. It points to the non-reality of it all.

I can think the thought, “the stove is off,” all the while the house is going up in flames. You can hold absolutely any thought, including ones that have absolutely no ground in reality. If you accept “the stove is off,” you have only indirect thought-knowledge. If it is really important to you to have absolute, direct knowledge, what must you do? Continue reading

The awake bird gets the worm

the awake bird gets the wormThis morning I was sitting by my sister’s pool, sipping hot chocolate, when my attention delved so deeply into thoughts and images of an event of the recent past that I did not immediately notice the robin land in the shady grass and begin to chirp. When her chirping got close enough and loud enough, the spell was broken, the dream ended, and my attention went fully on her for a moment.

Upon noticing that I had been lost in thought, I do what I always do, which is to come to my senses; to feel into the body and breath, feel the heat of the sun, my seat on the steps, hear the call of the bird, notice the taste of the hot chocolate; to come back to present awareness. Continue reading

My silence has broken

My silence has broken

teevensThe moment that I fell to my knees in the woods crying with intense love, joy, and laughter is not one that I thought I could ever explain or share. I still don’t.

That “direct seeing” happened January 30th (2010).

I’ve been quietly absent for a month, contemplating what to do with something I had never experienced before, and had no reference point for which to understand it myself, never mind to share it.

It is ineffable. Unspeakable.

Yet, a few months ago when considering the things that were coming to me, a thought “I can’t share that.” was immediately countered by “Don’t hold back!”

Indeed, I have not held back since being gifted with joy and being compelled to write the book. So I will not hold back now, either.

For about a year now I have been carrying a recorder around with me because learnings and knowings began to arise spontaneously.

Today, it came to me to begin intimately sharing my experiences as well as the nuggets of understandings as they come.

In the next message I will try to speak the unspeakable and share that experience in the woods, what I read and learned days prior, what was happening just before everything changed, and later, my processing and integration of it.

Many of these intimate sharings will not be published on my website, they are divulged primarily to my friends and close, regular readers.

I am also going to begin sharing some of the audio recordings I have made during contemplative moments. I already sent one–something that came to me on my walk today as I considered someone who turned down a request for help.

Looking forward to regular, open, intimate sharing with you  and all your comments, questions, and input.

You can leave questions or comments on every page of my site, or general comments here:

I will reply to all.

Peace and joy,