Creating a New You

fire-Streichholz-wikemedia-72-dpiThe new age movement is awash with ideas of creating a new you.

Words like growing, learning, expanding, creating, and co-creating are all the rage. But there’s something very shallow about creating something that can be re-created again and again. It points to the non-reality of it all.

I can think the thought, “the stove is off,” all the while the house is going up in flames. You can hold absolutely any thought, including ones that have absolutely no ground in reality. If you accept “the stove is off,” you have only indirect thought-knowledge. If it is really important to you to have absolute, direct knowledge, what must you do? Continue reading

What is a “spiritual” author?

NTSA-logoWhen you cruise the categories of the books entered in the “Next Top Spiritual Author” contest, you find subjects like:

Art, Business, Dating, Diet & Nutrition, Divorce, Gardening, Massage, Organizing, Sports, Technology, Travel, and UFO’s. This makes one question exactly what is meant by a “spiritual” author. The contest organizers say “This competition is focused on finding authors who have a message that appeals to the spiritual market. This market, often referred to the “new thought market” offers personal growth and spiritual messages (religious messages are not considered “new thought”). Authors like James Twyman, Neale Donald Walsch, Wayne Dyer, James Redfield, Abraham Hicks, etc – have messages that appeal to this market.”

To me, in the truest sense of the word, a “spiritual” author or teacher is one who has both awakened and can point others toward It. They cut directly through all concept and thought about awakening, so that one can awaken to the only possibility–to That which always was, before ideas about It, and to That which always will be.

With this definition, there are only a handful of true spiritual teachers embodied in the world today.

What this contest seeks to find is a message and a messenger that appeals to seekers. Seekers, one of which I used to consider myself, have not settled for what we have been conditioned to believe in and experience abut life, even though they may be strongly conditioned that way. They innately know there is some…thing… else. They cannot turn away from the fact that everything changes and that this body has come and will go, nor from a sense that what they have known is not all there is.

They cannot turn away from the mystery.

The irony is that it is only a mystery to the mind, and it will always remain a mystery to the mind because It is not thought, and the mind is thought. It cannot be known by thought–that would make it simply a thought. Therefore, a true spiritual teacher will not conceptually tell you “We are all one” because they know that would be cheating you.

Feel good “pep talks” are not It, and as sure as any other thought and state, “spiritual” pep-talks fade away. And most importantly, as sure as any other belief, they can actually direct you away from It, away from your own true discovery, your own direct knowing of It; the only thing that will truly, permanently, infinitely satisfy you. As it should be. As it must be. For those who worship thought and knowledge, there will be no Knowing of Self.

Yet there is a place for thought, hope, and belief. They are the boats that can take you across the stream to Knowing. However, do not cling to the boat, do not cling to thought, hope, or belief. At some point, you must abandon all knowledge and thought; you must step out on the other side, into Knowing, as Knowing.

When I heard of the contest, I hesitated entering because I know I am not a spiritual author, in the truest sense of the term. And yet, I will also not “parrot” concepts, ideas, hopes, or beliefs. I strive to speak only from what true Knowing is present, moment to moment.

Like you, I cannot turn away from the mystery. And turning toward it has resulted in experiences and understandings, and love and joy beyond what has been known or can be expressed, and immense gratitude–all of which cannot be contained. Like an unstoppable seed sprouting through concrete, it is emerging. Thank-you for shining your light on it.


Cindy Teevens is author of The Alchemy of Love and Joy, the end of suffering and birth of unconditional love.

The Joy of Being

The Joy of Being

Seek joy! Seek joy until you cause joy! Cause joy until you know you are joy. –C. Teevens

When I urge people to seek joy, usual mind may think that means vacations on sandy beaches, a shiny new car, ecstasy with a lover, or a rich bank account. That is the usual way people try to make themselves happy. The blatant reality is that all of them come and go. All of them are impermanent and unreliable. Because we have needed them, we believe in free will so we can try to make them happen. And it may be that you do get them. Once, twice, or even more. Yet still, they do not stay. And as they say “you can’t take it with you.”

Not only don’t they stay, but they are not the cause of feeling good. There is no happiness in two tons of metal on wheels. The paper in money just lays there, inert. So where does it come from? Even in touch, there is no joy.

Touch one hand with the other. You know how skin and bones feel, right?

Now touch your hand with love.

What just happened? The feeling changed right? What was the difference? Two things:  your intention, and your attention looked for the experience you call love. And it is there.

Who created that?

Who did you need to give it to you?

“We don’t want people, things, or events. We want the feeling we mistake them for.” –C. Teevens

You could lay beside someone and generate a feeling of love. You could lay beside the same person and feel disconnected. Even as you lay beside another, YOU are what makes the difference. Otherwise, you would always feel the same laying beside them.

This is the confusion of people, things, or events for the feeling we mistake them for. When we mistake these for feelings, we begin to think we need them in order to feel good. Or we need them to be a certain way or to say a certain thing in order for us to feel good. This is attachment.

This confusion is wanting, and this wanting CREATES a feeling of incompleteness, of loss, of agitation, and stress–of bad feeling, where there was none originally. Of course, it is not true that you are incomplete, however regardless of what is true or not, a feeling of being incomplete can be created and experienced. That is how powerful you are. Feeling is not truth, and bad feeling can blind you to truth.

You can know in your own experience that when you stop hitting your thumb with a hammer, it will feel good. That is the first good feeling you get, from stopping “banging” yourself with want. Then, not even aware of it, you give yourself permission to feel good; you enhance the good feeling with intention and attention.

Because we thought the source of our joy is outside of us, we also think the source of our pain is outside of us. And so when we feel bad, we go looking outside for the reason, in a vain attempt to fix it. Instead of seeking reasons to feel bad, I encourage people to ask themselves what it is they want, and then to seek it, to reach for that feeling, which is always readily available to “give-back” to yourself. So instead of looking for the cause/problem, I encourage people to–Seek joy!–to look within for good feeling, no matter what is going on around you.

The joy of Being has no object of happiness. As Mooji’s teacher says, “You don’t need anything to be happy. You need some thing to be unhappy.” Happiness is what is already the case. Learn conscious control of your intention, attention, and how to tap into as full an experience of the joy of Being as you are capable of, every moment. Practice “Alchemy” and–Seek joy!

Seeing eye-to-eye

Seeing eye-to-eye

I looked and blinked. And looked. And blinked.

Something was not quite right with him. Something about his face. That was a year ago, and our first meeting. It was not until the third meeting that I could see what was obvious–he had one green eye and one grey eye!

And here it was happening again. I looked up at the doctor and noticed something “off”. Then she asked me what I was there for.

On the weekend I headed out for my walk but found myself being drawn deeper and deeper into the woods, and into the stillness. Onto a log, I layed on my back and released into it. Then sat up and sank further. Then drawn deeper yet into the woods I chuckled to come upon some old chairs, and settled into one. Apparently two hours passed.

The next morning, I felt pain and saw what I thought was a wound or sliver from being in the woods, and pulled it off. It took two pulls and when I dropped what I thought was a scab…it began to move–and I realized it was a tick. Knowing the possible meaning, and since it was Sunday and the clinics were closed, I went to the hospital. 

Showing her the wound, I looked-up again and still could not see her eyes or face clearly. And then I remembered my other friend’s eyes, and the fact they were different colours–and only then I clearly saw hers. One beautiful green, one beautiful blue.

It reminds me of a story about Columbus arriving in North America, and how the natives could not see the massive ship on the water until, as the connection, their medicine man pointed it out. It was just not in their world of possibilities.

Only when I recognized and accepted that her eyes were different colours could I *actually* see the different colours, and truly see her face, yet the mind still struggled with this seeing, as it ratified something new. You see, eyes are always sensing, but it is the mind that sees, or not. And what we have seen, we can see. What we have been conditioned to see, we see. What we have learned to see, we see. What we have not seen, we don’t see.

That does not mean that we cannot see it. It takes a clearing of pre-conceptions, or pre-existing beliefs, anticipations, and expectations because otherwise we just see those pre-conceptions; we see them mentally, and physically–physiologically, which are not separate. That moment of suddenly being able to see what had already been the case (two different coloured eyes) was very similar to my experience of sudden self seeing self experience. When the “dust” that covers our eyes, the pre-conceived ideas (like that “eyes should be the same colour”), are removed, then and only then can we see what was already the case–reality as it truly is.

The Alchemy of Love and Joy™ is a book, a story of suffering transcended into joy, and a simple practice anyone can do that will create a life full of constant joy. There are “Alchemy” practice groups and gatherings, and the practice is available free online, for anyone to learn and live:

Cindy Teevens, author of The Alchemy of Love and Joy™ says, “It was during great suffering that unlimited, eternal joy came to me. People don’t need to suffer, and by practicing “Alchemy” you never need to suffer again.” Her entire life changed dramatically, inside and out, and now she encourages everyone to—Seek Joy!

Today is not the day that Dad died

grandpa_butchToday is the seven-year anniversary of my Father’s rebirth into spirit. Notice how much less a “charge” there is, how much less suffering there is, how much more truth and presence there is in the statement of the anniversary. Today is not the day that Dad died. That day was a long time ago, and that day, that experience, has nothing to do with this day, this experience. This day is not that day, and we do not have to try to “reincarnate” that day now.

If I had not been reminded, it would not have been top in my consciousness and may have passed unobserved. That is not a suppression or avoidance of any kind. It is a simply a clear seeing of truth and reality.

On the first anniversary I received a card in the mail. It did not say much, other than “thinking of you,” and I thought it had something to do with the current moderate challenges I faced at the time, but a card for that seemed a little “much”. There was nothing I could relate it to because I was not suffering. A few emails later, I put it together; it was for the anniversary of his attempted suicide and passing. That first anniversary, I thanked family and let them know how I was, that all was good, and that the anniversary is not important to me, and why.

There were no more cards, and other family members continued to “observe” the anniversary. With my increased compassion and awareness, it occurred to me that this observing was not for me, as much as it was for them. They were suffering even though the 365th day later really has no more significance than the  364th, or 366th. So it seems there is a “rule” that every 365 days we must remember traumatic events, potentially “re-living” them, or more accurately, use memories to suffer in the now.

I don’t need to feel bad to honour someone’s life, and frankly, I can’t see how feeling bad and suffering could honour someone’s life. Certainly, that is not what the deceased wants for us.

Like everyone from my past who I loved, I may bring their memory or the experience of them into my present moment multiple times through the year–I don’t need 365 days. And when I do, I feel good about them, and in this way, I nurture my love of and for them.

That said of my current experience, my current experience also includes living family members who are suffering and want connection. Just like the world did not stop when Dad passed, and that the only thing to be done was to keep going and to do whatever needed tending to, the world has not stopped and needs tending too. Just like loving those who passed 365 days ago, I love and tend to those who are present now, 365 days a year.


My silence has broken

My silence has broken

teevensThe moment that I fell to my knees in the woods crying with intense love, joy, and laughter is not one that I thought I could ever explain or share. I still don’t.

That “direct seeing” happened January 30th (2010).

I’ve been quietly absent for a month, contemplating what to do with something I had never experienced before, and had no reference point for which to understand it myself, never mind to share it.

It is ineffable. Unspeakable.

Yet, a few months ago when considering the things that were coming to me, a thought “I can’t share that.” was immediately countered by “Don’t hold back!”

Indeed, I have not held back since being gifted with joy and being compelled to write the book. So I will not hold back now, either.

For about a year now I have been carrying a recorder around with me because learnings and knowings began to arise spontaneously.

Today, it came to me to begin intimately sharing my experiences as well as the nuggets of understandings as they come.

In the next message I will try to speak the unspeakable and share that experience in the woods, what I read and learned days prior, what was happening just before everything changed, and later, my processing and integration of it.

Many of these intimate sharings will not be published on my website, they are divulged primarily to my friends and close, regular readers.

I am also going to begin sharing some of the audio recordings I have made during contemplative moments. I already sent one–something that came to me on my walk today as I considered someone who turned down a request for help.

Looking forward to regular, open, intimate sharing with you  and all your comments, questions, and input.

You can leave questions or comments on every page of my site, or general comments here:

I will reply to all.

Peace and joy,



Come to life in ecstasy

Come to life in ecstasy

Good news—and more good news! Your experience has been dulled-over by thoughts and beliefs about how it “is.”  You are capable of experiencing so much greater sensual and joyful heights.

How good something can feel, how vibrant something looks, how flavourful something tastes, how fantastic something sounds, how ecstatic intimacy can be, and even how your body feels just being alive! The Alchemy of Love and Joy™ awakens all the senses and enhances your experience of life.

It’s the tendency to label—it’s thought that distances you from your life. You then experience the label, not life. In The Alchemy of Love and Joy™, the intense practice of just feeling brings you to life.

Practice allowing. Believe the senses (whether you are feeling good, or feeling better, or feeling great, or more and more ecstatic), believe the actual experience—not the thought about what you “should or should not” or “can or cannot” be feeling. Believe the experience, and if you are going to believe any thought, let it be “but I AM feeling it!”

And just feel.

—Seek Joy!

Learn more about the book here. Practice living in freedom and joy now.