Would you make better choices in a partner?

How much more free and loving could you then be in a relationship?

Some people are so shocked by the idea of not needing someone that they ask, “But, then what would a relationship be for?”

Such a response reveals how deeply their conditioning goes.

Both my generation and the current generation have been raised in a “romantic era” that is more accurately called an “attachment era.” The majority of our movies and music proclaim a love that needs the other, and that idea is portrayed as a good, romantic thing. Perhaps it comes from the fear of losing someone and therefore needing them to be your “only one” and “forever.”

Thus fear spawned relationships that are based on fear, but which are cloaked and labeled as love. This attachment love is about trading and goes something like: “You be this for me, and I’ll be this for you,” and we call that loving each other. In actually, it is more like raping each other! There are needs, and demands, and when they conflict and oppose each other it can get really ugly. Stand-back when things go awry and watch how suddenly “love” becomes venomous hate.

Of course at the root of this is the idea and belief that you are somehow incomplete, and that you need someone in order to be happy. This is because generation after generation has been raised with the erroneous fundamental belief that happiness is somehow found outside of you, in things, people, or events.

But we don’t want things, people, or events, we want the feeling we mistake them for—and if things or people were truly the cause of happiness, then once we got them, we’d be happily ever after. But we are not—because things, people, and events are not the cause or source of happiness. Add to that the fact that the outside is unreliable and always changing; it is constantly coming and going. No matter how much you want to keep your partner or your love from changing, they change. Resistance and grasping makes things worse; pushing love and lovers further away. There is a Zen saying that says it all:

“The tighter you squeeze, the less you have.”

In our own true experience, we all know that happiness based on the outside is temporary, but still we have repeated it, over and over, looking for the next person or thing to “make” us happy. As if that were true. So this is a kind of outright denial and delusion. We just haven’t known any better. We have mistaken the outside for the inside, and so we suffer the consequences of clinging to what inevitably changes. And we have not looked for love where it is, always was, and always will be—inside.

True love is not a bodily urge, not a rush of hormones or excitement. It is not a “flash in the pan,” here for a while and gone again. It cannot “fall out of love.” It does not narrow its focus on one person and depend on them, cling to them, or need them to do a certain thing and be a certain way—or not—in order for you feel ok. It is free, open, spacious, generous, and unlimited.

Because it is not outside you, because it is you, it is always with you, and always available to you, no matter what goes on around you. So long as you look for it outside yourself, you will always miss it, and therefore you will repeat the same error, over and over.

When I speak of my utterly fulfilled experience, being single, full of love and bliss beyond what I could have ever imagined possible, and beyond what I ever experienced due to any relationship people who have not discovered the true source of love and joy cringe at the idea of being alone. They often raise objections like, “We are not meant to be alone,” or some such other belief, most often formed from a bad, lonely experience. They cling to the memory of the temporary pleasure and temporary happiness (and temporary pain) that they have known, forfeiting the mind-blowing, infinite, eternal love, bliss, and peace they have not known but are capable of. It’s like trading a single peanut for an infinite, all you can eat international smorgasbord.

This is not to say that you should not be in a relationship. This is to say that by believing a relationship the source of your happiness, and seeking one and using one for that purpose, you will remain ignorant of truth, and perpetually ride the uncontrollable ups and downs of the ever changing, unreliable outside.

You can relate and be intimate with someone and simultaneously know the true source of love. From there, you have more to give than to take. When you are completely filled with love from the inside out, it spills over onto others and there is no limit, because the source is unlimited. When you truly love someone, you want them to be happy, even if that means letting them go. Love covers that much space.

I looked down at the puddle and a moment later heard the thought “water spilled on the floor.”

The obvious time delay in that thought arising was almost shocking, and I chuckled at the redundant comment from the “peanut gallery.”  Years ago I never even noticed the delay. Today, in this moment, it was never so obvious that thought comes after experience—and quite some time after!

Having been there and known the water spilled before mind commented is undeniable proof that that voice, that thought, is not me. I was there before; I saw the water spill first. For several years now I’ve know I’m not thought, but now that is no longer just a thought either; it is my direct experience. It is Truth. Of course, it always was Truth; I just didn’t know it.

Notice: the thought came and went but the water remained (and I remained to mop it up). How can I be a thought? So the “thinker” that I used to believe I was, inside this body, also is not true, never was true, never will be true. The idea of the thinker (a thought itself), is also separate from me, the Knower of both water and thought.

The water spill did not come before me, and the words did not come before me. In order for either to be known, I had to be prior; I am already the case.

There is nothing to gain in order to know Truth. What must happen is that we lose the false. Believing yourself to be “the thinker” you miss the gap—the gap between actual experience and the secondary thought about experience. Begin to notice the gap of the mind, and it will help you stop believing that you are the thinker—and that will help you mind the gap.

The brain is just a reflex organ. I’ve heard it estimated that the mind is capable of generating a thousand thoughts per hour. Can you imagine doing that? Of course not, but it is happening. You are not doing any one of the thousands of automatic things the body does, every moment. The body pumps blood, but you don’t say or believe that you are the pumper.

Believing you are the thinker, and therefore believing the few thoughts that you happen to notice, mistaking them for truth, causes all kinds of grief, for yourself, and others. Question every thing, every thought, and especially question the thought that you are “the thinker,” because while you do not generate thought, are not the thinker, and cannot stop or control thoughts, you are the power that brings a thought that you believe to life, in your experience—or not.

It is never the event that causes suffering. Spilled water merely flows naturally, effortlessly, and nothing more. It is always an after thought (and they are all after thoughts) that we can suffer over. Be very clear, it is never something or someone “outside” of you that emotionally hurts you; suffering is optional.

As for me, I just flowed naturally, effortlessly, and moped up the water.

Another moment later another thought, “I guess this spot needed more cleaning,” arose, and I smiled, with seeing as clear as pure water that although “the thinker” thinks he or she knows something, the truth is that the event happens first, and the comments come after.  It is so obvious that now I wonder how we could have ever have believed otherwise.

This morning I was sitting by my sister’s pool, sipping hot chocolate, when my attention delved so deeply into thoughts and images of an event of the recent past that I did not immediately notice the robin land in the shady grass and begin to chirp. When her chirping got close enough and loud enough, the spell was broken, the dream ended, and my attention went fully on her for a moment.

Upon noticing that I had been lost in thought, I do what I always do, which is to come to my senses; to feel into the body and breath, feel the heat of the sun, my seat on the steps, hear the call of the bird, notice the taste of the hot chocolate; to come back into presence.

Simply aware here and now, I noticed the bird covering the ground, cold and damp from yesterday’s rain. She would move, chirp, stop, and turn her head sideways as if to look at or listen to the ground, and repeat. Staring and stock still, suddenly, she dived forward and pulled a long worm through the ground.

I reflected, yet again, how all of my senses had been in essence, shut down; how I had not seen her land, nor heard her first chirps.  So much is missed when we are not present, not only opportunities, but also the vast richness of life itself. Beyond that, absorbed in and believing unreal, fleeting thoughts, we can mistake them for truth and completely miss reality.

In contrast to my experience, she must have been out of her mind–and fully in the now. How could she sing her call, and feel her feet, and feel the ground, and look and listen for the subtle worm, if all her attention was following thoughts in her noisy head? She certainly would not be able to hear, see, notice or catch the worm, nor feed her babies.

The realization came: It is not the early bird that catches the worm–it is the awake bird.

During a TeleClass last night, I described how my experience of life has changed since discovering the joy within; how things, people, or events–even the weather, don’t bother me, and someone who was relating emailed this question:

“How do you explain this concept to others in your life? Sometimes, it seems people can’t accept that everything is ok. And not only ok but great. And they want to tear that down.”

To deal with this, you could learn communication techniques or ways to improve your self-confidence or self-image, but those are just temporary, superficial band-aid attempts that support a sense of separation, of ego. Alchemy is much more radical, it is not about learning or “how to.” It cuts to the core of false beliefs and shreds them; it is about fundamental, irreversible transformation.

There is an almost automatic response to questions like the above; we immediately attempt to answer a question just because it is asked (by ourselves or others), without ever questioning the validity of the question itself (and the question’s built-in assumptions), first.  In my new book “Alchemy, How to Feel Good No Matter What“ I emphasize, “If it does not feel good, don’t accept it–suspect it!”

So my response, instead of answering the question, was the same for every “problem” people perceive. I asked:

“How does that feel? (Good or bad?)”

I am pointing to and looking for a recognition, a noticing that the second and last sentences (“Sometimes, it seems people can’t accept that everything is ok.  And they want to tear that down.”) do not feel good, and therefore, they are something you can practice with. Recognizing this, you can stop and ask yourself the first question in the practice of Alchemy:

“What do I want?”

I emphasize do because it must be stated in the positive and people have been conditioned to know what they want in the negative, to know what they do not want. But you will never find what you do want while your attention is on what you don’t want.

Normally I would wait for the participant to answer, but sometimes, as was in this case, they do not want to publicly participant, and that is fine. So instead, I made some guesses, or “mind-reads” of what the answer might be. What could be the opposite, what would feel like relief, or better? What came up was, “They are happy for you, they support your happiness, and maybe then even desire it.”

So then we asked the second question: “How does them being happy for you feel?”

And the mental answers, as thought, surfaced. Then I led the group through actually feeling into the body for the answer, showing them how to know and grow a good feeling before asking another one of the Alchemy questions:

“What do you think about that thought you had now?”

From that opposite, good feeling state, most people will find their old thought irrelevant, or even laughable. I also get them to reflect on the (now whole) situation and people involved, if there are any, and that brings clarity and understanding. The participant’s emailed response was:

“Thank you Cindy! Yes, I see now that they don’t have the understanding of the moment that I do. Thank you, Lovely Lady!”

When your state shifts, not only do you feel better, but you see better. You have access to wisdom that was always available, but which you were closed to.  You can then know that others do have positive intention for your happiness, perhaps even seeing some ways that they support it. Compassion can kick-in, and villains can even become victims in your perception and thinking. Of course, there is no absolute truth in your thoughts, but balance can be restored, and one way or the other, beneficial, (w)holistic action can be taken because the whole is seen and known.

You can come to see that the others are hurting, or maybe wanting what you have (which is also hurting). Or perhaps you will mind-read them entirely differently and no longer see them as not accepting your happiness, or as not trying to tear your happiness down. What we feel inside, we perceive outside, so in all cases it is coming from within. You may find space to actually ask them, with pure curiosity, about their purpose or intention (which you perceive negatively) and learn it’s something you could have never thought of, because your model of the world is different. You may actually learn something of their truth, instead of just your fear. As long as you need something from others, like for them to be happy for you, then you are not available to whatever truth is going on for them. You are not available and compassionate toward their experience.

Had I been able to actually speak with the participant, we could have gone deeper and even turned this completely around. The more you stay with this and explore, the more “ah-ha” moments come. In addition, the other Alchemy questions can help you fundamentally realize, once and for all, your inherent freedom and peace from needing, wanting, or avoiding anything outside of you. At that point, while habitual thoughts may continue to arise, they no longer have any charge, and begin to slow and recede into the background. You no longer have interest in them.

With more time and direct facilitation, the participant could come to know, experientially who’s happiness, support, and appreciation they truly needed (Hint: their own). The state we elicited together is a better place to be, and it is also a better place from which to be seen. Otherwise, others will see that you are actually not always happy. Busted!

Being busted is good, because it can be used for freedom, peace, non-separation, and love. Use any and all bad feeling to come to know that you are the power of how you feel, that you are the cause, you are the source.

Almost to the ground another branch on the path brought the journey to a halt, or so it seemed.

Paused there, sitting upright, it rested for a few moments as it seemed to contemplate its predicament, and then began climbing up again, this time even stronger and faster, and going farther than before.

I thought of recent conversations with colleagues about the “tipping point” or “turning point” where, when a decision is made, it’s over and there’s no turning back. We’ve been trying to grasp what exactly that is; it seems to be a decision, but perhaps it is more than that. [ cont'd...]

Depression and anxiety are becoming epidemic.

Statistics on Depression:

• One in ten U.S. adults report depression. (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, CDC, 2008)

• “…the U.S. suicide rate has climbed steadily since 1999, driven by an alarming increase among middle-age adults.” (Los Angeles Times, Oct. 21, 2008)

• For youth and young adults between the ages of 10 and 24, suicide is the third leading cause of death. (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, CDC, 2004)

• Child depression drug use has quadrupled in a decade (BBC News, 2007 “GPs in England wrote more than 631,000 such prescriptions for children in the last financial year, compared to just 146,000 in the mid-1990s.”)

• 15% of preschoolers struggle with depression and anxiety. (Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 2009)

When you feel bad, bad thoughts flow easily and effortlessly. When you feel good, good thoughts flow easily and effortlessly. Feeling bad and putting all your attention on it, it will grow, and more bad thoughts will arise. During this, positive thinking can make you miserable as you try to force a good thought on bad feeling–and fail. A downward spiral can begin that, unchecked, over time will affect the chemistry of the brain.

This one habit alone may be a very large cause

When I began working with people, every day people who just want more joy out of life, one thing stunned me. I noticed that when asked the first Alchemy question, “What do you want?” about 90% of the time people answered with what they do NOT want. They were quickly able to say what they do not want, but slow or even unable to say what they DO want. How bizarre! (Well at least bizarre to me now–I know there was a time when most likely I would have answered in the same way.)

If you pay attention to what you say to yourself and others, you too will be surprised not only at how often you say what you don’t want, but how challenging it may be to say what you DO want. Logically, it makes more sense to tell others what you DO want because you stand a far better chance of getting it! The same goes for what you are telling yourself! If you went car shopping and began telling the salesman the colours you don’t want “Well, I don’t want Blue Mica, and I don’t want White Pearl,” and “I don’t want Aluminum Metallic,” and “for the interior I don’t want Sand Cloth”…and “I don’t want six cylinders…”

You see the problem. With your attention on what you don’t want, that is all you experience. And we have become good at suffering, having practiced crying and suffering in our rooms as children (that may be another very large contributor).

With your attention on the problem (inside or outside of you), that is all you will know and experience. Like riding a bike, what you know and experience–what you practice–you get good at. What you don’t practice, you are not good at. The habit of looking at and knowing what you don’t want has been practiced for years. Because of this sometimes it takes people a little while to find what it is that they DO want, and they may at first feel awkward. As a result they may stop looking for it, and conclude that they do not know what they want. Of course, this cannot be true. In order to know the problem you must know the solution. Allow that it may take a little time and may feel a little strange at first (just like learning to ride a bike does). Generally what you DO want will be the exact opposite of what you don’t want. You will know when you hit on it because it will feel like relief, and then if you stay with it and practice Alchemy, it will begin to feel good.

As most of you know–because you were there, with me, making it happen by casting your vote–that Alchemy won the Next Top Spiritual Author contest in 2010. That was announced before I saw the contract, but when it arrived, I was not moved to sign it.

After two weeks of picking the brains of best selling authors and just waiting for the decision to be made known to me, with the blessing of my Singapore investor, turning down the deal was as big or bigger a win as accepting it. For some books, it may have been a good direction, but it appears Alchemy is taking a different route, for now anyway.

Going into the contest I knew that a book contract is not something you truly “win” but something that is negotiated. There are numerous details in fine print, many of which are not  “prizes”. I had won the opportunity to be offered and to consider a contract. And in that way, it was not much different from the traditional route, except that it was highly educational, promotional, and fun.

Compared to book deals, it was a bad deal, but compared to the world of millions of unknown authors it is often accepted that any first deal is a good deal; beggars can’t be choosers, so the saying goes. But that view is dangerous when you are not just talking about a book.

And Alchemy is different, it’s not just a book. It’s not a fly-by-night interesting or entertaining book that may or may not make it for a while, until the next book the next year (which is how publishers need to treat all books of new authors, because publishing is a gamble). Alchemy is a practice that is altering lives–and it has already ‘made it’. It’s already helped thousands of people, and it is here to stay. It already won, and continues to win because Alchemy was written to help people. Period. That is easy to lose sight of and while it was withdrawn from the people during the contest, it was not helping them.

I’ve been away from helping people for almost a year because of the contest, but it was an invaluable experience. What was driven home was that best seller content or writing is not what makes a best seller. Massive marketing does. Getting wrapped-up in all of it, I could easily forget that the reason that I wrote the book was to help people, not to be in the business of book marketing. However, without being in the business of book marketing, I cannot help people.

Yet getting a traditional publisher does not ensure a book will be a best seller, and not getting a traditional publisher does not mean it will not be a best seller. Whichever physical way the book is published is not really relevant in this computer age. What’s left and what’s key is the marketing effort the author puts in, and whether or not the book “grows legs” as they say, and gets moving on its own. That has most to do with the timing and how well the message is conveyed, needed, received, and shared by readers.

So the best of all options and opportunities have come together because Alchemy now has the interest of four literary agents, a massive marketing effort is building around it, and I am turning my attention back toward the people who have been patiently waiting for the book and courses. I do not believe you cannot have one (mass success) without the other (withholding the book), and in fact, it may be that Alchemy needs the people it helps as much as they need it, because nothing great was ever accomplished alone.

If you would like to assist with spreading the love and joy and to even be compensated for it, please write to me at my personal email address: cindy@alchemylovejoy.com. If you have some time (or if you have a list of people who may love Alchemy) it will be a very fun and educational adventure with lots of possibilities.

It was a blessing that it was a bad deal – because I learned that good deals don’t come to good books, but to big “platforms.” Platforms are the fan base; the number of people who know about you, the book, and who love the message. A good, big platform results in success for the book, and therefore good deals. So Alchemy needs a bigger platform. And it is growing exponentially now.

Over the past year the book has been improved:  its been professionally re-written, re-designed, and re-edited, and now for a limited time I am free to make it available again. It will formally launch in 2012, but you can get the advance ebook free right now on my Facebook Fanpage: https://www.facebook.com/teevens.cindy.

And new Alchemy programs are here too.

As a free “rebel,” I was never attached to winning, and that leaves the book free to follow the best path for it–and that is exactly the message of the book. I invite you into this joyful rebellion! Reject everything you always thought you knew, because being not knowing is the safest, sanest place to be; when nothing is certain, everything is possible.

Pleased to leave behind the world of contracts and publishers (for now), and to move forward with people,

Cindy

–

“You always interrupt me,” came the complaint. “In non-violent communication we own-up,” she continued…

I have periodically heard about something called “non-violent communication” and while I knew nothing about it, immediately I liked the idea the name implies. But this was the first time I ran into it head-on in real life, and I clearly saw how it failed (in this case) to meet its own namesake. (Or perhaps there was confusion in its understanding, or application.)

I had been communicating with a co-worker and wanted to share an insight, but when I began to address the subject, I was interrupted and the topic went in another direction.

“You always interrupt me,” she complained.

“Always?” I asked.

“Well, ok, not always, but you’re not owning it,” she said with pained  accusation.

She was hurting, and upon noticing that, clear seeing dawned brightly. She wanted me to accept responsibility for how she feels. How violent, came the ironic thought.

“Interruption may happen,” I said. “That is certainly true. And you interrupt me too, often, actually. But I don’t feel interrupted, or whatever bad feeling it is that you are experiencing. I could guess that perhaps it has something to do with feeling not heard, or not being respected?”

“Yes! That’s it!” she exclaimed.

“I own my actions, but I cannot own your feelings. I would not want to own your feelings–even if I could. I would not want to take that power away from you,” I replied.

And I cannot. That is not the reality of it. You may be interrupted, but that does not mean that you are not heard or respected. When we apply our fearful thoughts to other people and presume it to be their intention or purpose, we are doing both them and ourselves violence.

Of course, this is not malicious. It is just currently the human habit and confusion; the confusion of our thoughts with reality. In our constant effort to defend and protect that which we believe to be ourselves (which is apparently thought to be a tiny, vulnerable being), we mistake those painful thoughts for what is, and for truth–the truth of others.

It is not reality that hurts, it is not the interruption that creates bad feeling, it is the thought about what you believe the interruption means that hurts. (Of course one could even take it a step further, but that is another book.)

If you carry an underlying belief that you are not worthy, or not respected, or not heard, or that someone in particular does not listen to you or respect you, then not only will you see interruption as a problem, but you will be watching for things that can be interpreted to match your beliefs (and you may notice this pattern in your life with multiple people).

While you carry this idea that you are interrupted and not respected, you will experience it over and over, until you own your underlying need and become self-fulfilling; until you listen to yourself and give yourself the respect you desire.

You are perfect as you are, whole and complete, until you take something away from yourself. Use The Alchemy of Love and Joy(TM) and give it back.

Then you won’t even notice interruptions (or certainly not as a “problem”), freeing yourself and others.

Postscript – Later, out of curiosity, I read about Non-Violent Communication from the source, and it itself is not at all what it seemed to be from this experience. Non-Violent Communication does not teach that others are responsible for how you feel. I use this interaction to highlight this error that people make (educated in Non-Violent Communication or not), and not to criticize Non-Violent Communication.

–

“There are no problems with others that is not self.”
- C. Teevens, The Alchemy of Love and Joy.

I love the old zen story about the farmer who’s neighbors thought it was a bad, unlucky thing that his horse ran away. The old man’s reply? “We’ll see.”

As the story goes, the horse came back with another wild horse, and the neighbors quickly switched to remarking how good and lucky that was! The old man’s reply? “We’ll see.”

Then the old man’s son started training the horse for riding, but he was thrown and broke his leg. Again the neighbors switched to how bad and unlucky that was. And again the old man replied, “We’ll see.”

Later the army came but could not conscript his son due to the broken leg, and again the neighbors congratulated him on his good fortune, and again he replied… “We’ll see”…

Yesterday I went to my massage and chiropractor appointments (due to having been in a car accident last April), and headed from there to where Dan Millman, author of Way of the Peaceful Warrior, would be giving a presentation. Arriving in plenty of extra time, I decided to have dinner at a restaurant, and called a friend who had been waiting to hear back from me.

As I told her my plans and shared that I didn’t know what time it started, she looked up the ad in the Tone magazine which she just happened to have, and informed me I was supposed to have called ahead for the ticket. “Oh well, I’m going to go anyway and see if I can get in, or maybe even speak with him, if only briefly, I said.

Then she told me I am in the wrong place.

“Oh…!”

Looking down at my full plate of delicious food, and then my watch, it seemed there was enough time to finish and get to where I should be. I would need to call the bus company and see how and if I could get there in time. “Good luck with that,” she said, humorously, as we hung-up.

I sat for a moment and considered the options, and called another friend, who could not come. As I put the phone down to contemplate things, I looked up at the people in line, and saw–Dan Millman!

Yes, I went to the “wrong” place to meet Dan Millman, and there he was!

When I approached him in amazement and shared my strange story, he invited me to eat with his companions. His driver offered me a lift to the event and we had great fun and adventure getting there, right on time.

His empowering and yet down-to-earth presentation was as entertaining as it was educational and practical. There is a very grounded air of humility about him. In open, honest engagement with the audience, he shared and gave all he could.

Having had life transformed by love and joy, having dropped story after story, and having seen into my true nature, there are few books I am interested in reading anymore. Years ago I saw and loved the movie “The Peaceful Warrior,” (five times) but now I want to read all of his books, and there are several, with new ones on the way.

There are no “wrong” places. You are in the right place, simply because you are there. Just like the old zen farmer knows, there is no good or bad. No one event can be separated from ones before it, or after it. When you are not attached to events unfolding one way or another, then you simply witness, in the Way of the Peaceful Warrior, all of it.

You are going to witness what you are going to witness, and so perhaps your only true choice is in what your attention is on. What your attention is on will effect your experience in this ever-changing ride. Not at any moment during this adventure was I upset, frustrated, stressed or concerned. No stories arose at all about what “should” have happened or “should” be happening.

Instead I was curious and excited to see how it would all unfold, however that would be. Countless unseparated, seamless things came together to form that meeting. As always, life unfolds and takes care of things as it will. In that we have no choice.

When I left the chiropractor, I had no idea that I was actually going to get to the event, much less speak with Dan. The weather turned cold and I had under-dressed for taking the bus. I had also not planned for how to get back–I didn’t know when it would end, and I didn’t know the bus route or schedule from there. Walking into the wind I noticed the thought “Maybe I should just go home,” and I kept walking toward the bus stop.

When we grasp thoughts and label things as good or bad, and think things should or should not be, we narrow our attention and experience to the point of missing the bigger picture, and to the point of stress and suffering.

There are no problems present in what is. It is only the mind that presents what is not as a problem. Or a story about what is, as a problem.

Yet even thoughts themselves are not a problem. Like the moon that has no power of its own and only borrows it by reflecting light from the sun, thoughts mean nothing and have no power until you give them life. Otherwise, like everything else, they can be witnessed to come and go. Without power, they come and go very, very quickly.

Glancing around the populated theatre, I found a good friend. We sat together and at the end, she turned to me and asked, “How are you getting home?” I laughed and said I don’t know, and remembered how close she lives to me. “Now you know,” she said.

Meeting Dan this way and receiving great gifts on multiple levels was at the same time extraordinary, and yet utterly ordinary. Sharing the ordinariness with my friend, she said, “They are just people.” Yes, just people, and like all people, extraorindary in their ordinariness. And like all experiences, extraordinary in their ordinariness.

There are no ordinary moments. Including everything and excluding nothing, existence itself is a magical mystery. And as one of my favorite quotes from the movie goes, “There is never nothing going on.” And what a miracle to witness.