How can I stop feeling invisible when I am with people?

Questioner: So one thing I am working on is not feeling invisible when I am with people. It is interesting how desperately people want to tell their story.  I notice they will take and talk and talk and not ever ask you how you are, who you are, how your family is… or right in the middle of talking to them someone interrupts and pulls them away and how often they do not return to you to finish your conversation. These things make me feel invisible…but I am working on not feeling that way. Can others relate?


Cindy Teevens The cure is to question the identity and reality of the “I” that needs your story to be heard. Who or what is this? Is it a thought? As a thought, is it you? How is you wanting your story to be heard different from other people who want their story heard? If this I who feels invisible does not exist, then the feeling of being invisible has no truth and will fall away. Could it be important to find out what the “I” actually is? As you begin to step out of unconsciousness, you will begin to see it in others, but don’t get stuck half-way…Until you no longer see it in others, until you no longer even see others, as separate from you, you are still unconscious. You are still believing in the story of “i” as a separate individual.


Questioner: How is you wanting your story to be heard different from other people who want their story heard? I see that we are the same. I can now see that when someone is telling their story they have a need to be seen and heard and I am ok with that and even ok with them (depending on the relationship, i.e.: I am ok with mere acquaintances not asking about me). What I notice is most people are seeing through their eyes (only their perspective most of the time. When I realized this I was able to just observe. It is not that that person does not care or is being rude..it is just that he/she is seeing only from their eyes. I also think the reason this is so is because he/she is using his/her energy to protect themselves and needs all the energy to be about them so they stay protected. I get all of this. But then I am in a situation where it feels like …people are not seeing me and it stings again. I am saying this to myself,…”Even though it feels like people are not seeing me and that makes me feel invisible…I am in fact visible. I see myself and love an accept myself.” I am thinking the answer to my question might be…. the more you see and trust and love and accept yourself the more you will feel visible and real to you … others may or may not get that from you. That is about them and how and if other people see you is not something you have and control over.


Questioner: Oh and Cindy, thanks for responding. Guess what i felt when I realized you were on and responding…VISIBLE.


Questioner: Something that came out in my journal recently: (and I made up these numbers so they are not based on anything other than my thoughts). Most people are only seeing through their eyes, (their perspective) 95% of the time and can only see from yours, or said another way can only be present 5% of the time. People on an enlightened journey are growing their 5%, making the number larger and larger. It is ridiculous to be angry or get feelings hurt by the people who are seeing only through their eyes as they are doing the best they can. And sometimes you can notice if you are paying really close attention…that they are being very diligent about protecting themselves…and that is why their energy is about only telling their story.


Cindy Teevens lol. Reality disproves the mind every time, if it is seen. (See the other post today on seeing a snake vs. a rope). The need to explain what is perceived in others is also ego. It does this to make itself feel better. Feeling better does not mean you perceive Truth. It simply means it is a better feeling thought. Whether ego is feeling good or bad, it is still ego, with attachments and needs, and problems will continue to arise. Whenever you explain people, you are seeing “others” as separate from you, so you are supporting separation and ego. “I also think the reason this is so is because…” <– question deeply, introspectively, who or what is the “I” in this statement. Is it a thought? As a thought is it you? Can it be dropped?


Cindy Teevens The way to change the 95% and their story is to stop telling a story about them. There is nothing wrong with the movie and activity you witness; it is your perspective that needs correcting. “When I correct myself, I correct others.” ~ Ramana Maharashi


Cindy Teevens Do you need even a mirror to know that you are? That you exist? Do you need others to confirm that you exist? Do you need others to say or act a certain way, in order to know that you exist? Drop these imaginations of the false “I-thought” who needs anything. All problems hang on the I-thought. Question it, and all problems fall away.


Questioner: Maybe this is my ego talking I am not sure but I feel like this is such a process and can not be rushed. For now the 95% and 5% make sense to me and provide me with comfort (my ego, maybe but I can not rush her and I realize I have to love her too—she lives in my head and pushing her away does not work. Instead I have to say…oh I see what is going on here…… and just so you know..everything EVERYTHING is Ok and I love you.


Questioner: Do you need even a mirror to know that you are? That you exist? Do you need others in order to know that you exist? Do you need others to say or act a certain, in order to know that you exist? Interesting questions. I guess what I am saying to myself is…I know you are here on planet earth and that you have a life to lead. That is all I know for now…but because I know it and because I can feel the good in myself I will try to let go of needing to be seen and heard so often and just know that I am and put my goodness out there and feel good about doing that and not be concerned about whether the other person gets it. I do not think I can go any deeper than that right now….and that too is OK.


Questioner: Do you need others to say or act a certain, in order to know that you exist? maybe I did…but I am moving past that now.


Cindy Teevens The ego that thinks it knows is not your friend, ultimately. It will continue to give you problems. The one that does not want the ego exposed is the ego. When the time is ready, when you have had enough of this trouble-maker and tire of the stories she spins and has to spin, you will look for Truth instead.


Cindy Teevens If you just want to work on the level of feeling for now, which is fine, I can suggest learning to use the power of alchemy to shift your state and your experience: http://alchemylovejoy.com


Questioner: I get it.


Cindy Teevens You are infinitely greater than any story, which by its very nature is limited.


Cindy Teevens PS–“how and if other people see you is not something you have and control over” — What you say is true, but you do have control over how you perceive others. You are believing your perception is their truth, and that creates a problem for you. Until you turn away from others and look within, you will continue to mis-perceive, and it will all be based on the ego’s beliefs about itself, its lack of value, its invisibility, etc. “We don’t see the world as it is, we see it as we are.” ― Anaïs Nin


Dear Self Facebook Group

Dear Self is a facebook group, a community of sincere seekers.

You are seeking answers to why you feel, act, and react the way you do, or maybe you are even questioning who you are. When the student is ready, the teacher appears (to appear). No matter where answers appear to come from–your mentor, a book, your friend, enemy, dog, or a tree–ultimately, they come from within, from your Self. So ask away, because the Truth is available, here and now. Welcome to the catalystic conversation that can unveil it.

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Perhaps you’ve noticed that no matter how hard you try, you can’t stop thoughts, and you are not impressed with many of them. Disillusioned with the temporary material world, you might be asking, “Is this really all there is to life?” You may feel empty and frustrated, perhaps with a sense that something is off, or missing. The big questions, “Why am I here, how did I get here, where do I go from here?” may be arising. You can ask these questions, and more, here. You are not necessarily religious, yet you sense there must be something more, and you might even use the word spiritual. Maybe you’ve heard of the cosmic joke, awakening, or enlightenment, but it all sounds like Greek to you.

Yet still, there must be more…Something real, and true, and lasting.

There is. It is awaiting your recognition.

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