How can you forgive someone who has done some really shitty things to you?

Dear Self: How do you get to a place where you can forgive someone who has done some really shitty things to you???


Commenter ouch – I am in the process of learning this through A Course in Miracles. It works when I do it, but I’m not cooked all the way through yet. Blessings


Cindy Teevens Forgiveness is not real nor true and lasting until you switch your perspective so completely that you see that the thought “did really shitty things to you” is just a thought and it never really happened. That’s not what happened. The actual specific things that happened, happened. The judgment you pass on the other is not the same as what happened. The idea they were “to you” and “shitty” are your shitty and painful thoughts, not theirs, thus you hurt. Only when you do this will the pain stop, will clarity and wisdom come to know that nobody can ever emotionally “do things” to you. True forgiveness is in realizing it never happened. Then you are both forgiven.


Cindy Teevens How do you shift your perspective? Shift your state by asking yourself what you want. If you didn’t want something, there’s be no problem. The answer will be the opposite of what you don’t want, and will be a specific thing, person, or event. It will feel good and pure. Indulge in that feeling and watch the magic happen. Join me Friday (and every week!) for a demonstration of this. Click the “live” post link that is pinned to the top.


Commenter I went for a nice long walk on a path called the Camino de Santaigo in Spain. As I walked, I asked for the clarity around the “shitty things” done to me. The new perspectives emerged at various points along the path. Walking mostly alone and carrying very little with me (16lb backpack), I believe helped open the space for me to shift my view.


Cindy Teevens That can happen while walking, but not necessarily. One can walk through a divine garden in misery. Using the powerful questions of Alchemy you will shift every time, not matter where or about what. You are free.


Cindy Teevens If one forms the belief one needs to be in a special place, or do a certain activity, one remains bound. It has nothing to do with things, people, or events. Believing things, people, or events make us happy or unhappy (the happiness lie), we experience as if we need them, we seek them out, we fight the world to get or prevent things. This is the mouse-wheel of suffering. This attachment, like the insult of “shitty things being done to you,” is self-inflicted. Suffering is unnecessary.


Dear Self Facebook Group

Dear Self is a facebook group, a community of sincere seekers.

You are seeking answers to why you feel, act, and react the way you do, or maybe you are even questioning who you are.  When the student is ready, the teacher appears (to appear). No matter where answers appear to come from–your mentor, a book, your friend, enemy, dog, or a tree–ultimately, they come from within, from your Self. So ask away, because the Truth is available, here and now. Welcome to the catalystic conversation that can unveil it.

Join the Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DearSelf

Perhaps you’ve noticed that no matter how hard you try, you can’t stop thoughts, and you are not impressed with many of them. Disillusioned with the temporary material world, you might be asking, “Is this really all there is to life?” You may feel empty and frustrated, perhaps with a sense that something is off, or missing.  The big questions, “Why am I here, how did I get here, where do I go from here?” may be arising. You can ask these questions, and more, here. You are not necessarily religious, yet you sense there must be something more, and you might even use the word spiritual. Maybe you’ve heard of the cosmic joke, awakening, or enlightenment, but it all sounds like Greek to you.

Yet still, there must be more…Something real, and true, and lasting.

There is. It is awaiting your recognition.

Learn to use the five powers you were born with an online course, and get personally guided by Cindy through the practice called Alchemy.

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