How to deal with feeling adequate,
and get a good night’s rest
Client: In the middle of the night snoozing is all I managed. I slept 45 minutes or so between 4–5:20 and again from 6:20–7:50. Going to try a little more.
Cindy: So is mind running around some topic?
Client: Last night it seemed to be a cumulative thing. But definitely areas we can target tonight (on the teleclass.)
Cindy: Cumulative… There is no such thing. There can only be a thought about cumulative, believed in. How does that thought feel, good or bad?
(NOTE: Client has worked with me before and knows that by asking this question I am pointing to the fact she is putting her attention on a bad-feeling thought, and am doing that just to bring it to her awareness.)
Client: I guess I was just having trouble pinpointing what it was, so I examined all things I was concerned about. And thinking of the cumulative was my attempt to understand what was causing the alertness and racing thoughts. It all seemed to center around a feeling of inadequacy and a little bit of fear of dying tried to creep in. Inadequacy to handle all things in and around the move and setting things up.
Cindy: Yes. The whys are where the suffering lies. Do you see it now?
(NOTE: Client knows not to seek reasons/mental understanding – i.e. not to think. When feeling bad you are like a bad-thought magnet, and will find many reasons to support or worsen suffering. The instructions here are to just notice the already present painful thought—not to think about it or seek more. Examining all the things you are concerned about will most certainly keep you awake. What is causing alertness and racing thought *is* entertaining bad feeling thoughts themselves. Nothing else. There is nothing else going on at 4am.)
Cindy: When you know a bag is full of garbage, do you go rummaging around in it?
Cindy: Looking for a cause (a.k.a “a why”)… What will you find? What help is there in putting attention on a bad-feeling-thought about why? Will that let you sleep?
Client: I was trying to find what I needed.
(NOTE: The first question in the Alchemy practice is to ask yourself “What do I want?” not “What do I need?” You need nothing. Your natural state is peace and joy. It is only when you have some “thing”–like a bad-feeling thought–that your natural peace and joy is disturbed. The thought idea you need something is attachment, and disturbing. That said, what you want is the opposite of what you don’t want, the opposite of whatever bad feeling thought is already present. That is enough to work with—don’t seek more! Oh what tangled webs we weave when we rummage through the garbage. What you want is positive, and feels good. What you think you need–and thereby don’t have–feels bad. Put your attention on what you DO want, not what you don’t want.)
Cindy: Notice that any “why” thought feels bad, and turn away from them, don’t seek them. Seek what you DO want. (–Seek joy!)
Client: No, searching through whys does not help. It’s a reflex I need to stop.
Cindy: This is why I say what you need is POSITIVE. You were not seeking what you wanted, you were seeking what you did not want. And you got it. Of course.
Cindy: hahaha…A *very* good and solid learning.
Client: Yes. We can learn from our mistakes.
Cindy: Yes. A great gift : ).
(Note: Searching through whys is not a reflex. That would make it some conceptual “thing” you have to battle against–but it does not exist. Simply noticing that it hurts, noticing that it never works is enough for you to give it up. When you are not interested in the garbage, it is gone. From a good feeling you can notice all the ways and truths about how more than adequate you are–but you won’t see that, feel that, or know that while feeling something called inadequacy. Learn to shift your state so you have access to wisdom and more options. Get personal support while using the 7 Questions called Alchemy)