When We Suffer, We Can’t Know Truth
“What you fear appears,” is a powerful truth.
I have seen someone I love suffer about something they believed, which could not be more untrue; it was in fact in opposition to reality. At the peak of their suffering, even when provided with the truth and evidence against their belief, they still could not stop suffering. At first my old self-centric habit was to react with hurt and pain at the false judgments. However this gift was a wide-eye-opener, a direct seeing of delusion and suffering.
There was such incongruency with reality, that it just did not make any sense, and that helped me to drop the self and my suffering, and to become curious. I saw the extreme suffering that delusion caused in that person, who in their pain was unable to receive truth that could ease the suffering. I thought, “If you only knew the truth, it would all be ok,” so I thought truth was the way, but it became apparent that while we are in a state of suffering, truth can’t be known even if it is glaring in your face. I could do nothing about it, and no matter how much I longed to give relief, I could not help. There was nothing I could do but watch love be destroyed through extreme delusion and suffering.
This cracked-open my heart of compassion, and is a large reason for my new work today. I have seen the delusion that suffering causes, and the suffering that delusion causes.
When we suffer, the hands clench, the body tenses, it crunches inward, the eyes may close, the breathing becomes shallow, limiting oxygen to the brain, and we physically and mentally withdraw from the rest of reality and focus single-mindedly on the “object” of our suffering. That is what suffering is. We suffer over one specific thing and can have no other experience. We shut-down our internal intelligence, and we withdraw from external intelligence.
Just because you are feeling the effects of a negative thought
does not mean the content of the thought is true.
It means you are feeling the effects of a negative thought.
In pain we cannot separately or objectively view what we believe is causing the pain in order to see clearly if it is even true. Yes, we can suffer over untruths. In fact, that is what we mostly suffer over. When we fear something we can believe that we see, know, hear, or feel it. We can actually create it, in our beliefs, whether it is there or not. And then we suffer, and take that as evidence it is true.
Most of the time, our suffering is about our fears, and not about what is. Of course, even if it is “true,” even if it is “what is,” we still do not have to cause ourselves to suffer. So there are layers and depths of suffering we can sink into.
Just like feeling hurt, abandoned, or judged, feeling anger also makes us, our experience, our access to information, our clarity, and our intelligence tiny. You are literally blind in anger or rage. Not only your mind, but your awareness of your body and senses shut-down during suffering. I have seen such a severe state of this form of suffering that the person did not even realize they were staring piercingly, and so did not have other options of behaviour available. Suffering in any form cuts-off access to your resourcefulness in every way.
Clear the bad feeling first by doing the practice and creating a better feeling, so that you can open to intelligence and clearly see what is, and what is not. Face the “adversity” with the good feeling to blow-out the belief you had that any thing can hurt you, and then, feeling good, say yes mentally and energetically to what is.
This is a third aspect to the freedom I have found, and it is what both Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie teach. It is acceptance of what is, acceptance of the now. Even though someone can switch from suffering to joy, there is still yet a deeper release, one could say past feeling and into being, presence, existence.
When I do this, fully accepting what is, what is and I come together, into alignment with each other, come back together, become One as the reality that was already always the case. There is non-resistance, no more attempt at separation, which is stressful. There is non-separation. So far I do not yet have a word for this experience, and “a release” at a very deep level is the closest. Recognitions and understandings come with this–we truly know that there is nothing “bad.” Your painful movement inside that causes pain makes it so. Resistance of what is, denial of what is, is an attempt to constrict and contract from the moment. Since you are this moment, you are this experience, to deny any of it is to deny your very self, and that is painful.
The Alchemy of Love and Joy™ practice positions you to be able to accept what is. Then it becomes a matter of exchanging the illusion of and struggle for control, for the freedom from the outside controlling you, and inner peace. When you stop trying to control, you go with the flow and start manifesting. You step into where your true power lies.
There was nothing I could do, and while there is still nothing I can do (meaning the option, intention, and action to feel better and to love belongs only to each individual) at least the people who are aware they are suffering and want to stop have a practice to help them get there.
There is hope–I have connected with hundreds of people all over the world seeking their freedom and peace. Just at the conclusion of writing this article, I received a request for help in an impassioned song “Pretty Lady,” by Trooper. My heart is full of love and compassion. I will not stop seeking all the ways to point and show a way for all those who are wanting and seeking.