What a dangerous statement. (Sheesh I wonder what happens after 20 years? Do relationships mould and rot in a stench? If that were true, why would anyone stay together? It’d be… “Oh, it’s two years plus one day… time to part.”)
That’s like saying life becomes stagnant after two years! There is no such thing as stagnancy. Everything is constantly changing. Even mind, which can stink with the idea of stagnancy, is always changing, moment to moment.
This belief was posted somewhere online, as a factual claim.
As long as our “experts” feed society with ideas like this, people will suffer. They will never come to understand the true cause of stagnancy and so never know the infinite richness that all of life, including being in a relationship or not, offers.
This claim may have evolved from some survey asking people about their experiences in relationships. Note the difference between the majority of people’s experiences, and a FACT that is always true for everyone, which nothing can be done about. Massive difference. Merely because the majority of relationships are dysfunctional does not mean that relationships become stagnant after two years as a fundamental truth.
It is possible to think that relationships getting stagnant is “normal” simply because it seems everyone else is having the same experience. Sharing the same experience , we may not even notice that it’s not healthy, because we think it’s “normal.” What is common does not mean normal, healthy, factual, actual, or truthful. Our experts are not immune to this either, and believing their stats to be some kind of truth, they can actually become the “sneezer,” spreading such contagious ideas. Because they are our experts, we tend to believe them, further feeding the unconscious outbreak.
“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” ~ Krishnamurti
Statistics alone are mere indicators, pointers, but are nothing real. One must notice the two-year milestone is not an immutable law that applies to everyone, and then go deeper and ask why are the majority of people experiencing this? (Or better yet, why do some not experience it?) Something fundamental must be being missed and/or we are confused. Something must be wrong with what we think we know about relationships, experience, and happiness.
One of the biggest, most rampant beliefs society carries about relationships is that people make you happy. Almost everyone believes that the pinnacle, the peak, the height in happiness is having a loving relationship with another person. What if it’s not true? What if there is a greater love experience possible? What if you can have it any time, with or without a relationship? What if we have confused it for relationships? What if it comes without the need, attachment, and pain that our current belief about intimate love carries?
As long as people believe that people (or things, or events) “make” them happy or unhappy, they make rules for things, people, or events, and those rules are what make us happy or unhappy. Those rules limit how much happiness, love, and peace you can experience (I call this the “False Happiness Hierarchy”), based on what things you do (or don’t) have, what people do (or don’t do), or what events do (or don’t) take place. You are voluntarily tethered to the winds of unreliable constant outer change. Being rules you set, these are not fundamental truths; they are choices.
Drop all your stagnant thoughts and watch everything come to life beyond belief! Because it’s your beliefs that have stagnated your experience of life. Nothing about life is ever stagnant.
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NOTE: Alchemy for Couples in the Love Before You Think(TM) program is coming soon. This program will help you side-step all limiting beliefs about you and your partner, bypass the past, and start truly living now. You don’t have to wait and you don’t have to wait on your partner either, you can start right now in the Inner Alcove. Click here.